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Columns / Short Stories
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Last Update: 02-19-2017
September 1975


The Fountain of Youth is no place to use a Dixie cup.

There is plenty of controversy over whether Ponce de Leon ever really did look for the Fountain of Youth. Actually, he was beating the Florida bushes for what all Spaniards of his day beat the bushes for: gold. He didn't find much, but he sure as hell uncovered the greatest mother lode of mosquitos this side of the Amazon Basin. There is a fragment of text that still survives from Ponce de Leon's log of his activities in and about the Everglades that reads: "By my Lords's benevolence we have this days encountered such a mighty host of poisonous winged creatures as to becloud the sun and forsooth to bedevil a man beyond the bounds of ye sanity. Night and days they attacketh like the very breath of the Fiend of Helle.". . .

Copyright: 1975 Car and Driver